The secret of my success

Owing to redundancy, I have become a 40-something looking for work. Anyone who is searching for a job accepts that rejection letters are part of the process. But it starts to grate when these dry little missives clog your inbox.  It hurts most when you are knocked back for jobs you know you could do standing on your ear.

Anyway, I can’t stomach another email that begins “Dear Miss Deb, thankyou for applying for the position of blah blah, but you have been unsuccessful.”

I think I might reply. Here’s my letter:

Dear Brick Wall,

Thankyou for at least acknowledging my application. I appreciate it.

But, I want to set one thing straight: I am not “unsuccessful”.

I have been, and continue to be, very successful. 

I did not include the following achievements in my resume because I am not into banging on about things that I just accept as being part of the crazy-beautiful dance called life.  But, I’m going to mention them here because they deserve to be acknowledged — especially by me.

First, and most importantly, I have successfully made it into my 40s without losing my sense of humour. I managed to laugh even when I was paralysed and battling a life-threatening illness in my 20s. It took a while, but I successfully got through it to emerge physically and emotionally stronger. It was one of the best things to happen to me as it made me realise just how resilient, and fragile, we humans are.

Over the years, I have successfully maintained supportive, loving relationships with not only my family, but a dear circle of friends who I would take a bullet for. That bond extends to their children, who have taken me to their hearts – as I have them.

I successfully found the courage to leave a secure job to travel, both by myself and with others, to many parts of the world.

Every time I came home from my adventures, I picked up a job in my profession. That was because I had successfully built a reputation as, dare I say, a talented employee.

I have successfully kept my wide-eyed wonder of the world, especially of nature, and animals still amaze me with the lessons they teach.

I have dragged my arse back to the gym and successfully whipped my body and sorry attitude back into shape. 

Buying a couple of houses was a financial success. Renovating them on a tight budget was another triumph.

I have successfully survived quite a few relationships. One of my more impressive skills was regaining my nerve and sense of worth when various men told me I was either too fat, too skinny, too smart, not smart enough, too nice, too harsh, too loud, too quiet, too opinionated, too flippant, too independent, too reliant and, yes, too successful.  

For some reason, I successfully refrained from pointing out to these men – while showing them the door – that they had paunches, limited social skills, inferiority complexes and a penchant for hiding behind sad-arse excuses.

I successfully managed to not go postal when, for the 10000^th time, I was asked why ‘a pretty little thing' like myself had not ‘settled down’ or ‘found someone’. I successfully replied to one smug (married)  inquisitor: “I'd rather drink drain cleaner than settle for someone like you”. 

But that, of course, was considered very rude. Apparently I was being disrespectful. Fancy that?!

Now, I am trying to re-invent myself. 

Actually, no, I don’t need re-inventing. 

The original version is just fine.

So, Brick Wall, if you have successfully managed to read this far, congratulations.

Yours successfully,

Miss Deb.